A Christian motorbiker was going down the M6
when God appeared to him and said
"you have been a faithful servant ask me for
anything and i shall give it to you"

So the motorbiker replied
"Build me a bridge from here to miami"

And God replied
"Thats a bit material and a bit mean think of
all the worlds resources it would take, it would
use up all the worlds steel and concrete think
of something that would benefit mankind somewhat
more"

So the Biker replied
"OK i want all men to be able to understand a womans mind"

God replied
"two or four lanes on that bridge?"

Little jimmy and his grandma went to the zoo and at the zoo they saw the tigers,lions,monkeys,hippos,and finally they came to the elephant stable and in front of the elephant was a vendor selling peanuts to feed the elephant with so little Jimmy begged and begged his grandma to buy some peanuts so he could feed the elephant so she said allright. She bought the peantus and gave them to Jimmy and she turned around to get her change then she looked back and little Jimmy was sticking the peanuts in the elephants boodie grandma yelled at Jimmy and asked him why he was doing that and Jimmy replied that when he went to the front of the elephant and asked him if he wanted some peanuts he didn't say anything so when he went to the back of the elephant and asked him if he wanted some peanuts the back of the elephant replied a fffeeewwww HA HA HA Better when told in person so be there at youth and here it in person

its so ugly ^^__^^ dont do that again____ ==

Money for the Pastor
A little boy was given a five dollar bill to put in the collection plate. When the offering came around, he wouldn't put it in. But after the end of the service, when he went to shake the pastor's hand, he pulled out the five dollar bill and gave it to the pastor. The pastor asked him, "Why are you giving me this money? Why didn't you put it in the offering plate?"

And the boy answered, "Because my mommy told me you're the poorest pastor we've ever had!"

Bible Lesson
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.

A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

Church Announcement
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

The Sermon
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

At the Wedding
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"

What's your religion?
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"

"Religious."

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off

two guys walked into a bar...the third guy ducked